Justine Zappa

Preparing for your birth✨👼{journal entry 2. A week ago today✨}

Justine Zappa
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“As I sit here writing, I have tears 
running down my face. 
Not because I am sad 
but because our birth story 
is so heartbreakingly beautiful. 
Preparing for your birth involved an incredible amount of strength. 
I mean In only 5 days I had to accept
that you were no longer 
ever going to be mine earth side 
and that no matter what I had to be induced and give birth (“terminate”) to you because of your condition. “
-
But I am sharing this because by the end of it all the preparation and birth itself was so unbelievably empowering.I felt so connected to my 
body and to my baby who I had accepted was buzzing around me, it gave me the closure to 
allow me to start healing and
If I can help at least one mama through this challenging time of their life than I am happy. -
During my preparation I could not 
find any information that was real, raw and relatable - only scientific.
-
So I trusted what I knew through 
my knowledge of being a 
hypnobirthing companion, 
having the most empowering and beautiful birth experience with my son and a huge belief that childbirth is a deeply spiritual endeavour, where our senses as women are at their sharpest, 
mainly our intuition and connection..
-
Only this time it was going to 
be a little different. I had to be induced And two days before you are given a pill called mifepristone which basically stops your placenta from working. (Honestly that moment when I took that pill, has to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole entire life.)
-
I then couldn’t stop thinking about how it on average could take anywhere from 
4 – 24 hours to birth bubba after induction. -
But in that moment of taking that pill 
it all made so much sense to me...
-
If I didn’t let go of her then
*because heartbreakingly 
I knew that in any moment she 
was going to be in the stars and 
no longer have a heart beat. 
Then our birth was going to 
be extremely long and painful for me. Because ultimately there wasn’t going to be any alignment 
with my body, mind and spirit 
if I was still holding onto her physically and not in my heart.

-

So my preparation involved saying goodbye to her that two days before when the pill was taken - not at birth, 
it involved visualising an empowering and short labor, it involved watching my positive birth affirmation video which I created for my hypnorbithing mamas 
and it also involved implementing all of my hypnorbithing tools (on my website)
-
3 hours from induction 
I birthed her… my husband, Mum & sister 
were by my side and it was heartbreakingly beautiful, it was the closure I needed and it was at this time that I had the honor to stand at the doorway in which life and death passes.
-
So thankful to have learnt 
the strength and power 
that we as women possess ✨👼
We are fucken’ rockstars!