Thank you my angel baby ... ✨ {journal entry 3 - 1 month today}

“What an absolute gift this last 5 months has been ... a fucken’ intense gift, but this is life ... and as you would have heard before it is what we do with these crucibles that make all of the difference “

This was the journey that we were given and although our hearts are longing for her, I know with every bit of me that one day her little soul will come back to us.

And the more I have healed and truly accepted this it has made me realise that I would have rathered known her for that short 4 months of growing her than not at all...

Maybe I was her little vessel and I understand now I really really needed her too...

The night of finding out that we had lost her my husband and I were having a shower, he held me tight and said “Juss you need to stop with the what if’s this happened to you for a very special reason...
so that you can truly understand all aspects of pregnancy, birth and motherhood to help others - you now not only know the miraculously beautiful side, you also now know the loss and heart break.”
At first this didn’t make sense to me...

But now I get it - he is right - maybe this is my crucible in all of this

I never truly understood it when women would come to me through my hypnobirthing business asking for guidance who have gone through what I am going through right now... and I get it now - it’s fucken hard! But this journey can be just as beautiful as it is hard if we allow it to be.

I have never felt so passionate

and all of this is thanks to my angel baby.

My first YouTube video is up - what happened & I go more into depth about this x